|
|
Post by Admin on Nov 30, 2017 18:28:24 GMT
Post your responses and/or questions to Session 4 on this thread
|
|
|
|
Post by jenniferowens on Dec 26, 2017 16:30:30 GMT
Session 4: Letting Go
4.0 Wants vs. Needs
A common source of stress in our lives comes from having difficulty distinguishing between our wants and our needs. For purposes of this exercise, a need is something that we could absolutely not live without (for example: food, medical care, clothing, shelter, or love), while a want would be something that might be nice to have, but is not essential to our survival and well-being (for example: a nice house, a nice car, money for recreation and entertainment).
Think about the things that are absolutely essential to your survival. Picture this as being stranded on a desert island. What would be the bare minimum you would need in order to live out the rest of your life while having your basic needs met? Write your answers in the space below.
NEEDS
water to drink *
clean air to breath * X
food sources * X
fire sources *
adequate shelter protection from the elements * X
companionship/team (for long term survival) * X
medicinal plants (long term survival) *
Now think about the things in life that it might be nice to have, but that are not absolutely essential for survival. List those things in the space below.
WANTS
clean clothes * X
comfortable bed *
car/transportation * X
entertainment (computer/tv) * X
grocery stores/restaurants * X
feminine products * X
toilet/toilet paper *
coffee/tea *
friends/partners * X
pets *
cell phone * X
camera * X
cooking stove *
bugspray *
candles/lights *
books/magazines * X
blankets *
wine * X
foods from all over the world * X
hiking boots *
raincoats *
kayak * X
music - musical instruments *
towels *
massage therapy *
yoga class * X
bicycle * X
running shoes *
hair brush *
lotion *
gadgets * X
Look back over the lists you created on the previous page. Place a check mark (I used a star) beside everything on the list that has brought you pleasure, and place an ‘X’ beside everything that has brought you stress, depression or anxiety. Some of the things on your lists might have both an X and a check mark. For example, under the wants section, you might have listed, “A new car.” You may have the desire for a new car, and the thought of getting a new one might have brought you pleasure, but now you find that the thought of payments, plus maintenance and upkeep are causing you stress. In that case, it’s okay to put both an X and a check mark by the item.
When you have finished marking each list, count how many X marks you have, and how many check marks you have. Which list has more X marks, your needs list, or your wants list? What does this information tell you about the things in your life that cause you stress? Are you getting more stress from your needs, or from your wants?
What does this information tell you about the things in your life that cause you pleasure? Are you getting more pleasure and enjoyment from your needs, or from your wants? Once you’ve added up all the check marks and the X marks, go on to answer the questions below.
I had more check marks in my (circle one) Wants List | Needs List
Weirdly, I had checkmarks on most things in my needs and wants list, the most items that only had a checkmark were in the wants list. This exercise illuminated to me that I stress about far too many things. For example, clean air to breath- I stress about the pollution that it is in our air and how it is harmful to living beings. I stress about many things that bring me pleasure.
I had more X marks in my (circle one) Wants List | Needs List
I have more X in my wants list due to so many more items being on my wants list.
If you had more X marks in your NEEDS list, what specifically would you have to let go of in order to decrease the stressful thoughts associated with these items? For example, if you are stressed out about your diet, how could you change your thinking about the food you eat so that you could be more accepting of your dietary needs?
I think I need to change the level of stress that I have about most things overall. I tend to see the negative aspects of things and while I believe that it is good that I can see the overall picture and how my actions affect all living beings - I also think at time it can cloud the joy/happiness that I can/could/do experience. I think acceptance of doing my best with how things are and doing my part could help with letting go of the stress involved with the larger picture and negatives.
If you had more X marks in your WANTS list, is this a ‘want’ that you could do without? If you did without it, would your life be less stressful? How? Would having the item reduce your stress, or add to it? How?
I think I could do without many items and would be happy living more minimally. Having too many things stresses me out. However, I also think that many of the items on my wants list, are helpful and I could appreciate them more. I have spend quite a bit of time in the wilderness, without the “creature comforts” that many in the West are accustomed to and I have to say that having warm shower, dry clothes and a stove to warm up some hot tea are quite lovely delights. While there are stressors to maintain such luxury items, they can make for a comfortable existence. Maybe maintaining gratitude and understanding that these items make for extreme comfort - could help reduce the stress involved for me. I also often feel guilt for having such luxury items, knowing that many do not as well as often the ultimate suffering that could be involved in the production/consumption of such items. How to find balance in that, I haven’t quite figured out.
If you had more check marks in your NEEDS list, what specifically about these items brings you pleasure? For example, if you find pleasure in the place in which you live, what is it exactly about your home that brings you joy?
The items with checks in my needs list are essential for being alive items such as clean water and fire. During my time in the wilderness backpacking, there is nothing more joyful than coming across a clean water source and having a nice fire in the evening. The joy these essential needs bring to me are the reminder that there are only a few things necessary to sustain life and even those are not a guarantee. It helps me appreciate the accessibility I have to those necessary items as well as the sources that bring them. It also reminds me of the need for others to help with the necessary survival elements - surviving on your own is difficult.
If you had more check marks in your WANTS list, what specifically about these items brings you pleasure? For example, if you find pleasure in possessions that are not absolutely essential to your survival, what is it exactly about those items that brings you joy? Would it be possible to find similar pleasure in items from your NEEDS list? If so, how?
Many of the items that brought me pleasure in this list, also brought stress, I get pleasure from the items due to the happiness they can make me feel (good hiking boots and a rain jacket make hiking more comfortable) the comfort they bring to my body (hot tea, foods from around the world etc.) as well as the fun (music, transportation for traveling, kayaking and biking). I could find similar pleasure in my needs list when I am backpacking or separated from the creature comforts. I could also make enjoyable things - such as musical instruments, etc.
|
|
|
|
Post by Admin on Dec 26, 2017 21:12:04 GMT
This is always an entertaining session to do with my groups...just for the surprises it gives. I noticed you said, "making musical instruments." That might be a good activity to incorporate as well into your own groups...especially if you could find a way to do it outdoors. I have a friend who makes Native American flutes and teaches others how to do it. He has them go into the woods with him to harvest the wood for their flute. There's a whole ritual that goes with it.
|
|
katie
New Member
Posts: 3
|
Post by katie on Jul 4, 2018 23:08:22 GMT
Session 4: Letting Go
4.0 Wants vs. Needs
Name: Katie LaPlant
Date: 7/4/18
A common source of stress in our lives comes from having difficulty distinguishing between our wants and our needs. For purposes of this exercise, a need is something that we could absolutely not live without (for example: food, medical care, clothing, shelter, or love), while a want would be something that might be nice to have, but is not essential to our survival and well-being (for example: a nice house, a nice car, money for recreation and entertainment).
Think about the things that are absolutely essential to your survival. Picture this as being stranded on a desert island. What would be the bare minimum you would need in order to live out the rest of your life while having your basic needs met? Write your answers in the space below.
NEEDS: */x Food, *water, *shelter, *fire, */x touch, */x socialization
Now think about the things in life that it might be nice to have, but that are not absolutely essential for survival. List those things in the space below.
WANTS: */x To be on vacation all of the time, *to feel happy or at peace all of the time, */ x weather to be 75, sunny and dry every day, *To be “Skinny”, */x my house to be clean without having to do anything.
Look back over the lists you created on the previous page. Place a check mark beside everything on the list that has brought you pleasure, and place an ‘X’ beside everything that has brought you stress, depression or anxiety. Some of the things on your lists might have both an X and a check mark. For example, under the wants section, you might have listed, “A new car.” You may have the desire for a new car, and the thought of getting a new one might have brought you pleasure, but now you find that the thought of payments, plus maintenance and upkeep are causing you stress. In that case, it’s okay to put both an X and a check mark by the item.
When you have finished marking each list, count how many X marks you have, and how many check marks you have. Which list has more X marks, your needs list, or your wants list? What does this information tell you about the things in your life that cause you stress? Are you getting more stress from your needs, or from your wants?
I don’t know that I’d say more stress with the ones I listed, but I can see where that might be so. I have found the more simple we live the happier and more content I feel. The more material things I focus on the more unhappy I am and the more I want. I’ve really changed quite a bit over the years. I used to want a lot of things, but I am finding more pleasure today in things that don’t cost money and things that are more natural.
What does this information tell you about the things in your life that cause you pleasure? Are you getting more pleasure and enjoyment from your needs, or from your wants? Once you’ve added up all the check marks and the X marks, go on to answer the questions below.
I had more check marks in my: Wants List because my wants list was also bigger than my needs list.
I had more X marks in my: wants list
If you had more X marks in your NEEDS list, what specifically would you have to let go of in order to decrease the stressful thoughts associated with these items? For example, if you are stressed out about your diet, how could you change your thinking about the food you eat so that you could be more accepting of your dietary needs? Yes, this is something I’ve worked for many years on…which is accepting my body for how it is and taking care of it with intuitive eating. Not using food for emotional or stress reasons. This has helped tremendously. But I still struggle with judging myself around food sometimes.
If you had more X marks in your WANTS list, is this a ‘want’ that you could do without? If you did without it, would your life be less stressful? How? Would having the item reduce your stress, or add to it? How?
I work hard so that we can go on awesome vacations as a family. But I have found that I want to take breaks and go on vacation more and more so the more vacations I want, the more I have to work to pay for them. It got to a point where I was working too much and burning myself out and the vacations were not worth the burn out. I don’t want to do without the vacations, but I’ve had to limit the amount and even the type of vacation in order to find a balance.
If you had more check marks in your NEEDS list, what specifically about these items brings you pleasure? For example, if you find pleasure in the place in which you live, what is it exactly about your home that brings you joy? I am very grateful with my home. However, I do sometimes wish I lived in a newer place so there wasn’t so much maintenance. But rational mind reminds me that eventually things would break down and I would have to fix things even in a newer house. People bring me pleasure. They give my life meaning and fulfillment.
If you had more check marks in your WANTS list, what specifically about these items brings you pleasure? For example, if you find pleasure in possessions that are not absolutely essential to your survival, what is it exactly about those items that brings you joy? Would it be possible to find similar pleasure in items from your NEEDS list? If so, how? I think the thing that brings me pleasure is the fantasy of it all. Going on vacation is a lot of work. Being healthy is a lot of work. Having sunny, dry warm days is not going to keep the earth green and I won’t be happy. And I also see that I would get so used to things being that way that I would not value and appreciate them as much. That is what makes them wants and so special.
|
|
